If I were any better, I’d be twins.
Me:Good morning.
Guy in Elevator:Yeah, yeah, morning is good. Not this fucking health care. Our office is dead! We're already not making any money. In a few months, we're gonna be dead. I won't be able to make my fucking car payments. So I'll have to get rid of my fucking car and then ride my fucking bike to work every morning and get hit by a car (note: the doors open at his floor at this point but he keeps talking) and have to live in the hospital for the rest of my life and those fuckers will have to pay for my entire-

I find it very therapeutic to go outside for lunch.  Not just to get out of the office, although that is a crucial part of it as well — if you eat in the break room, people have no qualms about asking you questions as if you were actually getting paid at that moment (you’re not).  But also because when the weather is as nice as it is here, it’s practically a crime to hole yourself up in your cubicle the entire time.

It’s not all peaches and sunbeams, though.  You have to deal with the general public.  And with that comes annoying phone calls, crying children, ear-splittingly loud dump trucks, and the worst of all: cigarette smoke.  I don’t know how many times I’ve had to pick up and move from my already established outdoor seat because some smoker thought that they could just light up since they’re outside. 

Today, luckily, I sat outside the food market across the street, which has signs prominently displayed outside: NO SMOKING.  And today, while I sat and enjoyed my salad, people around me obeyed this signage, for once.  The one rogue outlier that I hadn’t prepared for though sat right behind, and coincidentally upwind from, me: a homeless lady taking a nap.

She smelled like a bowling alley.  I think I can still smell it wafting at me with the breeze.

I ran my first meeting today.  All by myself.  No safety net.  No guest host.  No training wheels.

Only three people attended.  And one of those three was late.  So, only two-and-a-half people came.

On the brightside: it was an effective meeting.  We got to really focus in on some items and I worked with each one directly.  It felt like we all got a lot out of it since we didn’t have a lot of other people distracting us or holding us back — which tends to happen in bigger groups (we’re only as strong as our weakest link, or something like that).

Still — it wasn’t exactly a huge vote of confidence that I had to practically beg people to show up.  Maybe everyone is just all meeting-ed out.

I know I am.  Now.

G--:I can't log in to our Intranet. That's why I haven't been coming to the tutorial meetings.
Me:Did you forget your password?
G--:No! It just won't work for some reason. I've tried everything.
Me:Okay. Did you click on the link that says "Forgot my password" to have it reset?
G--:Yeah, but it didn't work.
Me:It didn't reset your password?
G--:Well, I didn't know how to actually do it. It wanted me to copy and paste something.
Me:You mean the link to click that resets your password?
G--:Yeah, I guess.
Me:Click the link. Then type in what you want the password to be. And be sure to write it down this time so you won't have to-
G--:I know my password. I don't need to write it down. There's just something wrong with the Intranet.
Me:... Okay.
T--:Is there a meeting today?
Me:What do you mean? The weekly Tuesday morning meeting?
T--:Today's Tuesday?
Me:Yes.
T--:So, we do have a meeting.
Me:Yes.
T--:Shit.

I thought I had this Daylight Saving time figured out.  I set my clock ahead early on Saturday so I could get into the right mindset even before I fell asleep.  I psyched myself up by thinking about how it’ll still be sunny out after I leave work.  I forgot about that hour of my life that vanished into thin air.

And then, this morning came.  The alarm went off.  It was cold and dark out.  There was very little aiding me in throwing off the comfortably covers and actually starting my day.  Were it not for my accelerating heart rate due to stress about my first week in my new position sans training wheels, I’d have probably stayed in bed longer than I did. 

I haven’t done much delegating yet today.  Turns out that this job has more to do with it than simply giving work to others.  A lot of work comes directly to me.  Kinda takes the fun out of it. 

With great power comes great responsi-

I can’t even finish that line.  I don’t even like comic books, much less Spider-Man.  And I have nothing resembling anything similar to “great responsibility.”  But, I do have more now than I did last week.  I will even have the power to delegate work to other people another person. 

I have no experience managing employees.  I’ve never been in a place to delegate work.  Have I become The Man overnight, somehow?  Will I rule like a tyrant?  No.  Most likely, I’ll let my delegatee run all over me.  Not because I want people to like me.  Far from it.  I just hate explaining things to people to do something that I could do in the same amount of time it would take me to teach them to do the thing that I’d want them to do for me.  Plus, it’ll never be done as well as when I do it myself.  I know exactly what I want and how I want it.  And even if their way isn’t better or worse, it’ll be different, and well we all know how easy it is to handle change.

I’ve already started minor delegations.  Simply forwarding emails to The Delegatee that had been sent to me with questions that I didn’t want to deal with at the moment and asking for assistance with minor issues.  Slowly dipping my toes into the waters of power.  So far, I’ve been too swamped to really see the enjoyment (if there is any to be gained) from this new position in the hierarchy of the office; it’s been merely relieving to have someone help me with the little things so I can focus on the overwhelming (at times) concepts that I will be tackling now that I’m no longer the one being delegated to.

Once the novelty wears off, I wonder how it will feel.  How handing over that first big project over to TD will feel — excitement, dominance, glee, nothing at all?  It’s all about new experiences.  Week one of my first taste of delegation power is almost complete.  I think I’ve only begun to scratch the surface.

My promotion gift.  Any suggestions? I’m thinking the Strawberry Energizer.

My promotion gift.  Any suggestions? I’m thinking the Strawberry Energizer.

I got a huge promotion at work and it’s about to be announced today at work.  A few people know about it through the grapevine — these things always end up getting out even though no one is supposed to know yet.  I’m sure that even more have a pretty good idea based on how things have been at work.

I’m curious as to how people are going to react.  What they will say.  If they’ll be nervous about my transition or if it’ll not even phase them.  If they’ll be congratulatory or ambivalent.  Either way, I’ll need to recognize it and roll with it.

Adapt.  Shift.  Learn.

Grow.  Think.  Transition.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.